Nadia Styles left porn industry in January, 2009
I started in the industry when I was 19. I first started because I needed money. I was on my own and I did
not know where to go for money. I needed it quick or I was going to lose my room in an apartment. I
found an ad in the L.A. Weekly for girls to make money fast. I called it up and a man asked me to go and
meet him at his apartment in Santa Monica. I went and met him and 10 minutes later, I'm doing my first
movie.
I went back a couple times and did movies with him. He soon offered me a job in his office being an
Assistant. I worked doing talent, paperwork and cutting movies, sometimes making movies if the talent did not show up. So you could say I was living a semi regular life. But still hurting my spirit at times. It
came to a point where I was tired of the job and I wanted to be talent in the industry just not for the
website. I got attracted to the attention and the money girls were getting. I wanted that too. The nice
clothes a better car. Something about being a porn star seemed glamorous. Boy was I wrong!
My boss tried to warn me about getting deeper in the industry. A girl even committed suicide around that
time. She was depressed because of her life in the industry and killed herself. I still left my job and went
toward becoming a porn star. I called a company called New Sensations to try to do my first movie. They
booked me right away. I remember being excited. And I also remember them letting me shoot without a
full panel STD test. I had my HIV but not STD's. I did the scene and got through it. I then had to go take a
full panel test so I could shoot more. I found out 2 days later that I had caught gonorrhea in my first
scene!
As quick as that the glamour of being a porn star was gone. In the five years I was shooting I caught
Gonorrhea and Chlamydia many times. Sometimes both at the same time about every 3-5 months.
Catching these STD's makes you so sick! Your stomach hurts your back and my private parts were on fire
of pain. It sucked! And also you get yeast infections and bladder infections pretty often too. A lot of people
get herpes. I was lucky that I didn't.
I continued in the industry because my life was ruled by a porn star lifestyle. And this lifestyle was very
destructive. Besides catching STD's as a porn star, there were more bad things. I soon became friends
with other porn girls and we would do nothing but drink all day. Or take pain killers all day. I soon got
addicted to alcohol and pain killers (Vicodin and narcotics). You first start taking pain killers to get through your scenes, especially anal. Even agents would tell their
girls to take them so they could do a good scene and the agent would get a pat on the back by directors
for having such good talent. My addiction grew and I would drive home from shoots totally trashed. If I
would have been pulled over I would have gone to jail for a D.U.I for sure! I even had good friends call me
asking me to pick them up from their shoot because they were too fucked up to drive home. It was sad
because the companies that would shoot us would know what was going on and they would even support
it sometimes.
A lot of times when I shot for certain companies, I would know I didn't need to bring my own alcohol
because it would always be on set for them and the talent. Note: It’s completely illegal to give talent
alcohol or drugs when they are shooting. I even got hurt on set where the director and all the crew knew I
was drinking. I had to go to the hospital because they didn't clear off the set properly and I ran into glass
and had to get 8 stitches on my ankle. I went back and did the shoot because I wanted to be a "good porn
star" for the company. I wanted to get more work from them maybe even a contract. That didn't happen. I
wish I would have thought about myself.
Four years into the industry I finally took a step out of my porn life box and looked at all the abuse that
was going on around me with myself and others. I practically took a whole year off. I was able to quit my
pain killer addiction. It got so bad I would take them for anything whether it was going to the market, going
out with friends. I was lucky I never got addicted to coke. I had a lot friends that did because it was always
around. Even speed and crack. I never touched those drugs but I remember porn stars that did. And
probably they did it to take away the pain of their porn star lifestyle. I went back making movies again the
next year. I needed money and I didn't know anything else for myself to make money. Porn was all I
knew.
I still had a bad alcohol problem and I would take pills to do my scenes again because I simply didn't feel
comfortable. I didn't need to take pills or drink a lot to have sex in my personal life. One day after a scene,
where I was drinking and had taken pain killers my heart stopped!!! I couldn't take this anymore. I took
another big break and did a lot of traveling seeing what the world has to offer. And I found there’s so
much more out there that’s way better than being a porn star. When I returned home I got a regular job at
a Friends retail store. But because I still had an expensive porn star lifestyle that was meaningless I
couldn't pay all my bills.
I tried to go back shooting but there wasn't much work because of economy right now and no one was
shooting. Then my agent offered me in his words an "opportunity" to go work at the Bunny Ranch
(basically a legal whore house) I sadly said okay at that moment. I went home extremely sad about this.
At this time God started coming into my life a little at a time. So I went to church got on my knees crying to
God for another way for me then the Bunny Ranch. God gave me answer to my prayer the next morning.
A friend called me real early and invited me to Brazil for a month to get away from the world I was tired of
living in. God is so great!!! So I went to Brazil and started my relationship with God. Learning the teaching
of Jesus and growing with the Holy Spirit by my side. I started reading a book "A Purpose Driven Life" by
Rick Warren. Wow! That book changed my life!! God bless that book. My relationship with God is so
awesome now and getting better each day. I am now saved and living in Salvation of the Lord now and
forever. While I was in Brazil getting away from the world, I got a message on my Myspace from Shelley Lubben
form the Pink Cross foundation. She had noticed I quit the industry and she was just sending me love and
hope in the message and it was so special to me. I then looked at the Pink Cross website and saw what it
was all about. I was so excited to see that someone like Shelley existed and her foundation! I read it over
and it felt so good to see that there were other girls out there struggling with the same things. I saw that I
wasn't alone and there was help.
When I came back home from Brazil I had a big box in the mail from Shelley. She sent me the sweetest
Christmas gift I got this year. I was in tears of the support and love that she was giving me. I called her
right after I opened it to thank her and she was so sweet it felt like talking to a mother that was nothing but
understanding and had not bit a judgmental towards me. She then asked me to go to AVN to help reach
out to the girls. I told her I’d think about it. But then I watched Shelley’s DVD of her testimony and it wow'd
me. I was so grateful for her letting out her demons in her past and showing all the magic of her present
life. It gave me a real sense of relief and joy to think that my life could be better too.
AVN came around and I went to Vegas with hardly any money and no room to stay in but lots of hope and
love and support of the Holy Spirit. I knew if I took the Holy Spirit with me it was going to be okay. Right
away I got a hold of Shelley and she met me at registration booth for the first time. She was so beautiful
and full of love. We were able to get me in to the convention for free! And Shelley had a hotel room I
could stay in. It was already going well.
We got into the convention and I met other ex porn stars who gave me support at the Pink Cross booth
and everyone was super sweet. We gave hugs to each other like we already knew each other. We then
passed out gifts to the porn stars signing. And it was really great to go around and show love to porn stars I knew and didn't know and showing them that there’s people that care about them, not their looks or their
sex abilities but really care about them as a person. Some girls had tears in their eyes from just hearing
me say we love you at Pink Cross. It was almost like no one ever cared for them and they saw someone
who did. That’s what happens in the industry. You don't know who cares for you in a loving manner
anymore.
Some girls asked me why I quit and after I told them the rough beginning to the sweet end of my story
they said "Awww, I want to go with you". And I want to bring them with me. Out of my five years of being
at AVN convention where I signed for Shane’s World, Playboy, Jules Jordan, etc.., this time was my best
time ever. I didn't drink which I would do very heavily there. I didn't take pills or do drugs. And I went with
nothing but support from Shelley and the Pink Cross Foundation and the Holy Spirit. IT WAS THE BEST
TIME I EVER HAD IN VEGAS!!! Shelley and her foundation are super and I love the support they give
and I feel really blessed to help them give support back to others in the industry. I'm now seeing this is a
big calling from God.
